WEB SITE TERMS OF USE
Wow! You actually came to this page. Our lawyers made us include it
and made us use a precious button on our home page to get you here. At
first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain. But then we read the
page. What a Netwakening! It's really important stuff. We took the
legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it into readable English. So
be a smart nethead and read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you
from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from really nasty people,
like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that people like you (and people you like) can
use it for personal entertainment, information, education,
communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse around all
you like. You can even download stuff from the site but only for
non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though, don't fool around with
the copyright and other notices all over the stuff. They're there for a
really good reason. And don't even think about distributing, modifying,
transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of
the stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video, for public or
commercial purposes unless we give you written permission. And it's not
likely we will.
If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to [read: stuck
with] the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or
regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, the World Wide Web,
or Los Angeles, CA. You shouldn't access or browse the site if you have
any problem with that, because once you start, there's no turning back
-- you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who hang
out on our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume that everything on the site
is copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you can't use the stuff except
how we say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without our
written permission. And like we said before, it's not likely we'll give
you permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are
likely to veto any deal anyway. So it's better you don't even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we're not
promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're not promising you anything
except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site, you're
using it at your own risk. Don't call us if there's a problem because we
assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the
site.
3. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver
the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In
particular, the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer includes
"direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages
arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the
foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT
WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT
LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of
implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to you.
Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations regarding the
exclusion of implied warranties. " Ugh! What a mouthful from the
mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because we couldn't figure out
any other way to say it that the lawyers would accept. But here's the
bottom line -- we're not responsible if you're browsing around and the
site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses.
We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to know something, don't post in
on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That's because
anything you disclose to us is ours. That's right -- ours. So we can do
anything we want with the stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose
it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else.
We can even send it to your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not
only that, we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques
you post any way we want to, including, developing, manufacturing and
marketing products or other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either our
property or someone else's property we're using with their permission.
No matter what, it's definitely not your property. You or any of your
net-friends can't use it unless we said you could on this page or
somewhere else on the site. And guess what -- we won't say yes. So be
careful, Bunky, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty
laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on
the site that either we own or we're using with someone else's
permission. So don't think you have any kind of license or right to use
them, because you don't and we're not about to give you one. If you
don't leave them alone and mess with our trademarks, logos and service
marks on our site, we'll probably go ballistic, so will the companies
that own the other trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that
we're likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for
messing around with our property or the property of others.
7. You'll probably notice we've linked our site to lots of
others. While that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at all those
sites, much less checked them out periodically to see what's going on.
So don't blame us if some site you link to is bad or has stuff on it
that offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but remember, you're
doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we
occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at the posting in our
discussion groups or on our bulletin boards, we take no responsibility
and assume no liability for the content of those locations or for any
mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity,
pornography, or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places
on our site. And don't be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful,
threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory,
pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that law
enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court
on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law -- anywhere,
anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but
to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court which
might ask us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use on this Site is protected by all sorts
of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that, you can't download or send the
software to anyone in the vacation travel spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya,
North Korea, Iran, Syria, or any other country where United States has
embargoed goods; or (get this) to anyone on the United States Treasury
Department's list of Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce
Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the FBI's Most Wanted Internet
Creeps List (just kidding on the last one). As if that were not tough
enough, if you live in or are a national of any of those lovely places,
you're not even supposed to be reading this page, so beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change this page and anything else on
the site any time we want to. That's because it's ours and we have the
programmers who can do it. If we do change the page, then you're bound
by [read: stuck with] those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
11. If either of us wants to make something of it and wants to
“sue” (a dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of engagement.
(sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of NSW, without
regard to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any manner violated or threatened to
violate CopyAndPAsteGraphics.comand/or its affiliates' intellectual
property rights, CopyAndPAsteGraphics.comand/or its affiliates may seek
injunctive or other appropriate relief in any state or federal court
in the State of NSW, and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue
in such courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first try to
resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator in the
following location: Sydney. Any costs and fees other than attorney fees
associated with the mediation will be shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution
through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to binding arbitration
at the following location: Sydney, under the rules of the American
Arbitration Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by the
arbitration may be entered in any court with jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have
seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to remind
them that human torture and sacrifice was outlawed in the United States.
Boy, did they look disappointed!
1st December 2006 |
